Pain – now there’s something Jesus knew a lot about. He observed it, healed it, and He felt it more deeply than any human ever will. The hurt and sorrow from betrayal is indescribable; it reaches into the very depth and recesses of our souls, cutting and tearing with each twinge of pain. Yet it is through our deepest pains and sorrows that life becomes crystal clear- its purpose and it’s meaning ooze out of the clarity.
Life has become quite interesting in a challenging way. The enemy thinks he has me, but God is teaching me more through these fiery trials than the devil will ever admit. Nothing in my life feels like my life. It’s all unrecognizable and feels like I’m walking out some else’s life, not my own. It almost like a dream and not life at all. I see the birds and hear their sweet melodies, but not really. I’m here, but not really here at all. It’s like being in the world but not a part of it. Words fail to accurately describe the unfamiliar road I’m walking. I know God is there with me, but I am groping in the dark to find Him. He’s not left me only moving in a direction I’ve not walked before.
The stress and pressure seem limitless, beyond what’s humanly bearable, but God always amazes me by being me right on through the most intense circumstances. Keep seeking and knocking and asking for the new path, which is truly an old path that has been so much forgotten that the grass has grown over it and it’s difficult to find. But He knows the way. And when you get there, follow Him.